Conscious Family Journal

Do Your Children Get Enough Creative Play Time?

 

Enrichment programs and organized sports can play an important role in your child’s development; but don’t forget the value – and joy – of good, old-fashioned play time!

 

It’s getting harder and harder to get my children inside at the end of the day.

 

As the weather gets warmer, they’re increasingly determined to stay outside, fooling around with their friends and playing flashlight tag in the backyard when darkness falls. It’s putting a bit of a strain on the homework schedules, and some nights, family dinner just doesn’t happen.

 

But you know what? I’m okay with that.

 

At some emotional level, it just plain feels good to see my children outside playing. By playing, I mean running around, chasing each other, making up games, hiding in the woods... doing the things that boys do when they are left unattended and undirected.

 

When they are allowed to just be kids, just have fun and be with their friends.

Me and My Mandalas

April showers may very well bring May flowers, but what to do with the kids in the meantime? Here is a conscious parenting tip for rainy days and other occasions.

   

Having a little rain, are we? Yes, I know it is still March, but “April showers” are here. Today. What to do with the kids when the rain comes?

 

First, send them out to play in the rain. I do it all the time, and my kids haven’t shrunk yet. Truth be told, sometimes I even go out for a nice long walk in the rain. What are those fancy umbrellas for, anyway?

 

After they are good and wet – maybe just a tiny bit chilled – bring the kids in, dry them off and feed them something warm. Hot cocoa and chicken noodle soup are favorites in my house.

 

Next, how about some quiet coloring? That’s right, I said coloring.

   

Haven’t done it in years? Maybe it’s time.  

 

Kids too old for coloring? You might be surprised.

 

Coloring is the perfect rainy day activity and while I heartily endorse coloring of any kind, today I am focused on mandalas.

A Prescription for Energy-Deprived Parents

 

My Review of a Two-Day Energy Medicine Workshop with Donna Eden and David Feinstein

 

Here is something to consider for your conscious parenting toolkit: Energy Medicine, by Donna Eden. By following Donna’s suggestions and working with your body’s meridians, chakras and other subtle energies, you just might find yourself healthier and happier – with more energy to put into parenting!

 

“Your body is designed to heal itself. The ability of a body to maintain its health and overcome illness is, in fact, among nature’s most remarkable feats.” – Donna Eden

  

A friend introduced me to Donna Eden’s work in “energy medicine” about a year ago. I cannot even remember the occasion, but I do know that I felt an immediate attraction. There was something about Donna’s message (or her energy, perhaps?) that made sense to me.

  

I have been pursuing a deeper understanding of what she calls our “latticework of energies” ever since.

Roots and Wings: How to Make Your Children Feel at Home in the Universe

 

“There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children: One of these is roots, the other, wings.” – Hodding Carter

  

I worry sometimes that I am not giving my children strong roots.

    

Somewhere deep inside, I have this image of a family living on the same street for generations. The kids grow up, go to college, then come back home to marry their sweethearts and raise families of their own... somewhere around the corner maybe, but no farther.

  

On the weekend, they go to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for Sunday dinner. Grandma serves a big, ethnic meal that may be Italian or Chinese or Ukrainian, but which has not changed in decades. It’s all very Ward and June Cleaver-ish.

  

But this is not the life we lead.

How Do You Know When It's Spring?

 

“It's spring fever.  That is what the name of it is.  And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!”  ~Mark Twain

 

I’m so happy I’m so happy I’m so happy!!! It is the first day of spring. Woohoo.

 

I know I am supposed to be concentrating on my writing and my house cleaning and paying some bills, but I am really just waiting for the kids to get home from school. They will be my excuse to go outside in the sunshine.

 

I have a serious case of Spring Fever and no intentions of letting myself be cured.

 

“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.”  ~Margaret Atwood

 

We still have mounds of snow lingering around the yard, and several mud patches in other areas. If you look closely though, you can also see the very beginnings of my day lilies, pushing their way up into the sun.

 

I want to walk barefoot in the yard. To feel the earth between my toes. I want to have a picnic. Is it warm enough?

 

Making Friends with the Voices in Your Head

 

Or, the Lazy Man’s Guide to Self-Improvement. Or, How to Make Your Mental Chatter Work for You.

 

I can remember a gentleman friend telling me, years ago, that I was a “deep thinker.” We were in the early days of our soon-to-be-doomed relationship and he was working hard to show appreciation for my unique quirks and general wonderfulness.

 

Other friends and family – who were not quite so committed to making me feel good – have since called me anal retentive, obsessed with detail and a perfectionist.

  

Perhaps Shakespeare said it best: “The lady doth think too much.”

 

Yes, I know that’s not what Shakespeare actually said, but he gave me the idea of saying it.

 

Totally Single Parenting

Single Mothers by Choice: Can we call this *extremely* conscious parenting?

   

The other night, I accompanied my younger son to the end-of-season pizza party for his basketball team. In attendance were eight fourth-grade boys, one younger brother, seven fathers and me.

 

At first, I felt a little awkward. Then, I remembered all the corporate meetings that I’ve attended over the years, where I was pretty much in the same situation. Once we get beyond the golf talk, these events usually go pretty well.

 

It’s not so bad, being the center of attention. On occasion.

 

Still, it is symptomatic of being a totally single parent. By that I mean, there is no current or former husband around for co-parenting duty. I adopted my children as a single mother and single I have remained. 

  

What Would You Do If You Won the Lottery?

 

“Prosperity is a way of living and thinking, and not just money or things. Poverty is a way of living and thinking, and not just a lack of money or things.” – Eric Butterworth

 

I must confess, I have been known to buy the occasional lottery ticket. I’ve never won more than a couple dollars, but I find that just having one in my pocket inspires some good, clear thinking about my hopes and dreams. In fact, visualizing what I would do if I won just might be a better payoff than actually winning.

 

Does that sound a little bit crazy? I think we all need to sit down periodically and think through our definition of prosperity. Okay, here is your chance to do a little self-discovery in 5 easy steps. I did this myself, as part of my journaling practice this week. Try it, it’s fun!

 

 

Step 1: What would you do if you won the lottery?

 

Find a quiet place and a scrap of paper (or your gratitude journal.) Take some time to feel your way into this.

7 Ways to Make Peace with Your Child

 

Conscious Parenting Skill-Building, Week 4: Using the power of intention, meditation, self-care and gratitude journals to build connections with your child.

 

I’ve fallen off the wagon. After three weeks of no yelling, I totally lost it.

 

Since returning from our lovely vacation in Florida, my eleven-year-old son has been – let’s see, how to describe?

  

A pill.

 

Which, according to dictionary.com, means “a tiresomely disagreeable person.”

  

As usual, when my hormones are about to explode like Vesuvius, I thought I was handling it all really well. Not so. Despite my deepening commitment to conscious parenting, it was a rough weekend.

 

We all have our triggers. For my older son, it was his younger brother taunting him endlessly.

  

For me, it was my older son chasing his younger brother around the house, shouting “I’m going to kill you.” Or maybe it was when he shoved him to the ground, just barely missing squashing the cat.

 

I Would Go With the Flow... If I Could Only Find It

 

If this is the Law of Attraction, it doesn’t feel so good.

 

I wish I could say it feels good to be home, but some days, re-entry is a b#&*h.

 

When we left Florida yesterday afternoon, it was a balmy 75 degrees. When we got out of bed at home this morning, it was four. That’s right, 4 DEGREES. Fahrenheit.

After waiting in line for over twenty minutes to check our bags at the airport, the counter agent graciously explained that we had missed the cutoff by about sixty seconds. Our bags would now be marked “LATE”, with bright green labels, thereby absolving the airline from any obligation to get them on the same plane we were taking.

 

It is hard to do the whole conscious parenting thing when the frustration is bubbling over and steam is shooting out of your ears. My younger son was getting worried about the unknown ramifications of MISSING OUR FLIGHT, so I focused on remaining calm. I was slightly successful.

“I’ve told you a hundred times”... when your children never seem to learn.

 

Conscious Parenting Skill-Building, Week 3

 

Greetings from the trenches.

 

Our first two weeks in the Conscious Parenting Skill-Building series focused on family dynamics:  How to Stop the Yelling and How to Clean Up Your Family’s Vocabulary.

 

This week, we will be a little more parent-centered. To be very specific, it’s all about me. I will be building a new skill this week; no family meeting required. (Although, it’s really about how parents may or may not damage their children’s self-esteem, so maybe it’s all about them.)

  

I was browsing our local bookstore awhile back when a title caught my eye: Teach Like Your Hair’s On Fire. This little gem of a book by Rafe Esquith was wedged in among a thousand other – mostly bigger – books on education and learning.

   

Sometimes, good things really do come in small packages.