Or, the Lazy Man’s Guide to Self-Improvement. Or, How to Make Your Mental Chatter Work for You.
I can remember a gentleman friend telling me, years ago, that I was a “deep thinker.” We were in the early days of our soon-to-be-doomed relationship and he was working hard to show appreciation for my unique quirks and general wonderfulness.
Other friends and family – who were not quite so committed to making me feel good – have since called me anal retentive, obsessed with detail and a perfectionist.
Perhaps Shakespeare said it best: “The lady doth think too much.”
Yes, I know that’s not what Shakespeare actually said, but he gave me the idea of saying it.
Since reading about the Law of Attraction, I have become even more interested in my own thought patterns and practices.
On most days, there is simply way too much going on in my head. I ponder the unchangeable past; I worry the unknowable future. I reason out the mysteries of the universe and lecture myself on a thousand different topics.
Since becoming a parent, the volume of this wordy discontent has reached celestial proportions. Negative thought patterns abound. There is seemingly no limit to the things a parent can worry about when it comes to one’s children.
Talk about mental chatter.
I long for absolute stillness. I yearn to empty myself of all the psychological debris of modern living. I search for silence.
Some days, I find it in meditation.
Other days, I accept that silence is not going to happen. Instead, I do something sneaky: I introduce new voices to my susceptible brain. Strong, powerful voices. With words of hope and empowerment.
As time passes, I am finding more and more of these voices taking root and flourishing in my fertile mental soil. They are becoming my voices. And not to be ungrateful, but I find I like them better than some of the old ones.
So, I guess the title of this piece is just a bit misleading. Here are my favorite ways to replace the voices in my head.
1. Reading & Writing When I am overwhelmed (mentally, that is) I find it tough to concentrate. Tackling some weighty new self-improvement book is usually beyond me at this point. What I can do is read poems, prayers and affirmations.
The real bonus comes when I copy them into my gratitude journal. I learned this trick when “studying” in college. There is something about the combination of mental and physical activity that really forces the material into long-term memory.
Some of my favorite messages come from Louise Hay’s Meditations to Heal Your Life. I also like Marianne Williamson’s lovely Illuminata: A Return to Prayer. Whenever I open either of these books, I find just the words of encouragement that I need. And I copy them down.
2. Active Listening There are times during the day, when my brain just assumes it is “me time.” Due to a lack of physical activity – or other exciting things to focus on – the old tape recorder in my skull switches on of its own accord. This is when more drastic action is necessary. For example:
When I am driving a car. In my old corporate days, I spent a couple years worrying / commuting eighty-five miles to work, each way. Yes, I know that was dumb. Still, it gave me the chance to discover books on CD. Genius.
A really good reading of a reasonably good self-improvement book would make those miles melt away, while filling my brain with new, positive thought patterns. I like the really long ones, such as The Teachings of Abraham: The Master Course (11 CD’s!), or the audio version of The Secret.
When I am in bed, waiting to fall asleep. I probably shouldn’t admit this, but when I was in college – and not utilizing my “copy the notes” study practice – I would read the chapter summaries from my text book into a tape recorder and play it back while I was sleeping.
(Okay, to be even more honest, some days I just put the textbook under my pillow and prayed for it to seep in while I was semi-comatose. Does this really work? Well, I graduated summa cum laude. Who's to say?)
What I can attest to, is that on those days when my brain just won’t shut off for the night, listening to a soothing CD with a kind, gentle voice will usually lull me off to dreamland.
For true mental re-programming, look for a CD of affirmations. I enjoy Louise Hays’ I Can Do It, which comes in a neat package of book and CD.
Looking for something to use with your children? We found Positive Thoughts for Children, by Chitra Sukhu. My boys thought it sounded a little strange at first, but quickly warmed up to it. Now it lulls them to sleep many nights... when their mom isn’t using it herself.
3. Creating Your Own Voice Have you taken the time to write your own life vision? Do you have an idea of what you would do if you won the lottery?
I invite you to take some time now, to envision your perfect life. Take your gratitude journal and write it all down. Describe where you live, what you do, how much money you have and how you spend your days. Describe your relationships. Describe the way you feel when you wake up in the morning and go to bed at night. Be specific and colorful.
Now, record it. I use a tiny recorder like the Olympus 4100PC Digital Voice Recorder. It is small, easy to operate and has a USB port that allows you to upload your voice files to your computer .
Next, listen. Again and again and again. I know it sounds a little extreme, but try it out. Something interesting happens when you hear your own voice, describing your perfect life, as if it were already true.
You start believing it.
If we cycle all the way back to the Law of Attraction, you will recall the idea that you get what you think about, whether you want it or not. Isn’t it worth some effort, then, to make your thoughts work for you?
On that note, I need to go stuff some good reading material under my pillow. Almost bed time.
Do you struggle with mental chatter? What practices do you employ to change negative thought patterns to positive ones?
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