Perhaps the best thing about family vacations – especially for conscious parenting – is that they provide an opportunity to be fully present with our children.
I was on the phone with my father the other day. He was teasing me (I hope), saying that since I was no longer “working”, I really shouldn’t need a vacation.
Hmm.
Perhaps it is a generational thing. Or a guy thing. Or just my dad.
At any rate, vacations are absolutely critical to my overall sense of well-being, even when they are the tour-five-countries-in-three-days-and-come-home-totally-exhausted kind of vacation.
Now that I am a parent, I do mainly “family vacations.” Which means, I try to limit myself to one (max two) countries per trip. And the purpose of my vacations has shifted a bit, as well.
I still vacation to reconnect with friends and family; to explore new places and cultures; and/or to simply get away from the daily stresses of work, home ownership and bill-paying.
So, what’s new?
More and more, I find vacations to be a time to reconnect with my children. Regardless of where we are or what we are doing, family vacations have come to mean living every moment, in the moment, as a family.
Our recent trip to Oregon is a fine example.
Yes, we were visiting friends – the family of our former nanny. We hadn’t seen them in five years and yet, as with all truly good friends, it felt like we must have been with them just last week.
Immediate warmth and welcome.
At the same time, we were also exploring new places; experiencing new activities; building new memories.
Our nanny’s father loves the outdoors and his little corner of the world, especially. Visiting him is like going to adventure camp.
He and his wife live on a hill overlooking the Siuslaw River, on a plot of land filled with flower borders, vegetable gardens, raspberry bushes and plum trees. They keep three chickens, that lay green and peach-colored eggs.
You can hike up the hill behind his house, if you want to see some elk, or maybe a bear.
I declined the hike.
We did spend an afternoon on the river, throwing crab pots into the water and pulling them back out. We enjoyed the scenery and did a little fishing while we were waiting for the lovely crabs to crawl into our traps.
Did we catch any? Well, we caught lots of crabs, but only one was of legal size. We all got to enjoy a bite of delicious steamed crab for dinner.
The best part of the afternoon was watching my sons gain a sense of competence and confidence, as they dragged those crab pots out of the river. A beautiful afternoon and a bit of enhanced self-esteem, all in one outing!
We were based in the small coastal town of Florence, which boasts easy access to the Oregon Dunes National Recreation Area. What a cool place.
I’d stumbled down the sand dunes of the National Seashore on Cape Cod before, but these were another thing entirely. They went on for miles, as far as the eye could see.
Time for another memorable family experience: Dune buggies!
We booked ourselves on a nine-passenger dune buggy ride, with experienced driver, for a thirty minute gallop across mountains of sand. As the guides helpfully locked down our shoulder harnesses and passed out protective goggles, I told my children how much I loved them and prayed for the best.
Every now and then, I get myself into situations that are just slightly (miles?) beyond my comfort zone.
The ride was incredible. Zooming across the dunes at up to fifty miles and hour. Looking across the undulating landscape of sand, with the dark blue Pacific Ocean sparkling in the distance.
Laughing, screaming. Having your face sand-blasted.
Talk about living in the moment.
The next day, we tried one more adventure on the Oregon dunes: Sand boarding.
You rent a board that looks a lot like a snow board, then trudge to the top of a sand dune and basically ski down as far as you can without falling on your face.
I must admit, I did not partake. The biggest difference between snow skiing and sand boarding is undoubtedly the weather... it was hot and sunny. Absolutely gorgeous.
The most important difference between snow skiing and sand boarding is the lack of chair lifts.
Not a gondola in sight. I walked halfway up the mountain of loose, shifting sand and my legs were done for.
The boys, who are blessed with a natural athleticism and a lot more energy, spent a great hour or so on the sand boards.
I provided moral support and photography services.
In the end, I suppose the most important thing about family vacations is the getting-away-from-the-daily-stresses-of-life part. The work... the home maintenance... the bills... the laundry. These are all the things that get in the way of me being present with my children.
When I go on vacation, I leave all that behind. For a few days – or weeks, when we’re lucky – I live in the moment. I spend more time outdoors. I am more active.
Truth be told, I am more fun.
And this is what I want to bring to my parenting time. Conscious parenting means paying attention: to our surroundings, our choices and our relationships. It is about connecting with our children on a soul level.
If I need to go to Oregon – or Paris – or Mexico, to achieve this level of connection, I am willing to make the sacrifice.
Related Posts:
Coming home from vacation is not always the best part of your trip. Please join me on a trip down memory lane, in The Things We Take for Granted and I Would Go With the Flow, If I Could Only Find It.
Just returning from your own vacation? Welcome home and good luck!
On the other hand, if you are still trying to sort through your hopes and dreams for your own family vacation time, see What Are Your Plans for the Summer?
To help your child grow without ever leaving home, find some new ideas in 5 Ways to Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem with Mindful Eating.
Recommended Products:
If you are still coming to grips with the whole idea of connection parenting, I always recommend Pam Leo’s wonderful little book, Connection Parenting: Parenting through Connection instead of Coercion, Through Love instead of Fear.
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