Now that our Parisian family vacation is a fait accompli, I am reflecting on the moments that have turned into treasures.
This is perhaps the best part of family travel: We expose our children to new experiences and cultures, while creating new memories for our family.
Or at least, new memories for the parents. (That would be me.)
The lessons of connection parenting teach us to build lasting bonds with our children through daily, high-quality interactions. These are the ties that keep us together through thick and thin; the links that encourage our children to listen and learn, when we need to deliver the harder messages of parenting.
And yet, how often does this happen in “real life?” They grow up so fast. And when we are home – soon to be caught up in another school year – our daily tasks and responsibilities can get in the way of our relationships.
When we are battling over math homework or racing to another soccer tournament, it is easy to lose track of whether we are really growing as a family.
When we travel, it doesn’t take quite so much effort to feel our hearts, minds and souls expanding. It is right there in front of us, each and every moment.
For my older son, it was the Parisian lifestyle that captured his imagination.
He loved heading out to our local patisserie each morning for breakfast goodies. (The beignets were delicious, but the vanilla éclairs were irresistible.)
And some of our best moments were shared while grocery shopping: Selecting new foods to try at home in our apartment; searching out a few American favorites, like that lone bottle of pure maple syrup for our “French” toast; carrying our baguette in his hand (as he witnessed the locals doing), rather than stuffing it into a grocery bag.
These were magical times. There I was, with my almost-twelve-year-old, simply enjoying the moment. He wasn’t putting on his “I’m so cool” act for his friends. I wasn’t freaking out over his report card.
We weren’t arguing.
These times together were so enjoyable for me, that I would do things to prolong them. On the way to the grocery store, we would stop and sit down at one of the many sidewalk cafés, to indulge in some crepes au chocolat; or take an alternate route home, just to see if we could find our way without getting lost.
We would get back to the apartment and my mother would ask, “What took you so long?”
I would just smile.
On our last morning in Paris, we went to our corner café for breakfast – just the two of us. I’d enjoyed a couple cups of French coffee on our trip, despite giving up caffeine more than two years ago. Between the jet lag and the wonderful aroma, I simply couldn’t resist.
My son would ask for a sip, recommend that I add a couple more sugar cubes, then ask for another. I suspect that with just enough cream and sugar, it tasted like very good, coffee-flavored ice cream to him. Only hotter. He’d been begging for his own cup all week, but I had been resisting. For our final morning in Paris, we sat down and ordered “Deux café crèmes et deux éclairs de vanille, s’il vous plait.” Two of each, please.
It took four sugar cubes, but once he had it sweetened just right, he drank the entire cup. Talk about a happy kid. He was glowing. I was probably glowing, too. Feeling the connection with my beautiful, almost-teenaged, onetime coffee-drinking son. And so went our wonderful family vacation in France. It was truly a magical time.
Has all conflict disappeared from our relationship? Hardly. But now, when we find ourselves arguing about taking out the garbage, or finishing up his summer math homework, I take a deep breath. And I remember Paris.
Related Posts: In keeping with my summer vacation theme, I’ve written about both of our recent trips in, American Kids in Paris, and The Importance of Family Vacations. My nineteen-year-old niece, who accompanied us on our trip to France, shares her experiences and insights in American Teenager in Paris.
Recommended Reading:
The real goal of our vacation time (although, my children did not know this) was to re-connect as a family. I encourage you to read one of my very favorite parenting books, Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion; Through Love Instead of Fear, by Pam Leo. Let me know if it changes your life.
Paris is a great choice for family travel. Fodor's Around Paris with Kids, 3rd Edition: 68 Great Things to Do Together will get you started. Just for fun, you might also enjoy, Eiffel's Tower: And the World's Fair Where Buffalo Bill Beguiled Paris, the Artists Quarreled, and Thomas Edison Became a Count. It is an entertaining blend of history and culture, all set in Paris. Enjoy!
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