Conscious Family Journal

The Truth About Adoption

 

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Why do we need to be aware? Because there are approximately 130,000 children in foster care in America right now, waiting to be adopted. These children do not have a "forever family." At least, not yet.

  

 

Is adoption part of your personal story? Was your family formed or expanded through adoption? If not, here is a secret I want to share with you, about adoptive families: We’re not that special.

 

We might be a little unusual, and our individual stories might make us interesting in some circles, but we are mostly just like you.

 

Equal parts happy, crazy, challenged and blissful.

  

The truth is, most days I don’t even think about adoption. My day-to-day existence is more than consumed by the usual complexities of family life: Getting the boys to school on time; pushing another load of laundry through the washer and dryer; paying some bills.

  

When I look at my children, I do not see strangers looking back at me. I rarely note the differences in skin tone or eye color. I forget that we haven’t always been together.

  

What I see are my children. And what I feel is a deep, tugging sensation coming from the vicinity of my womb. Regardless of the circumstances of their birth, we are connected.

Autumn, Adoption and Ladybug Hugs

    

I am totally distracted.

 

I want to write, but the sun is shining and it is 65 degrees out! After the snow last week, this weather is downright irresistible.

 

And yes, I have been procrastinating. I went for a long walk in the crisp autumn air. Switched out my down vest for a sleeveless tee. Had some lunch. And finally, dragged my laptop out to the patio.

 

It is lovely out here.

  

They would say that we are “past peak,” foliage-wise. But that’s okay. The yellows and browns are almost as nice as the bright reds. And with more of the leaves fallen, I am better able to enjoy all the spindly white birch trunks swaying in the breeze.

     

Ahh.

 

So, what’s up with the lady bugs? They are everywhere... inside the house and outside in the yard. One is crawling across my computer screen right this second. Another just flew up and landed on my reading glasses.

  

Roots and Wings: How to Make Your Children Feel at Home in the Universe

 

“There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children: One of these is roots, the other, wings.” – Hodding Carter

  

I worry sometimes that I am not giving my children strong roots.

    

Somewhere deep inside, I have this image of a family living on the same street for generations. The kids grow up, go to college, then come back home to marry their sweethearts and raise families of their own... somewhere around the corner maybe, but no farther.

  

On the weekend, they go to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for Sunday dinner. Grandma serves a big, ethnic meal that may be Italian or Chinese or Ukrainian, but which has not changed in decades. It’s all very Ward and June Cleaver-ish.

  

But this is not the life we lead.